the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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