I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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