i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
