um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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