IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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