Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
