We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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