Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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