i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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