wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's never too late to be topless.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
