Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
