dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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