Me too!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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