yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
