Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
