non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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