By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
