How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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