we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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