Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
