We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
