I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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