It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
