Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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