Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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