I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
