Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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