She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
