doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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