So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
