you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
