Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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