are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
