haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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