We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
