i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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