If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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