worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
