Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will be naked everywhere
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
