No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
