somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
