It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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