ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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