PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
