Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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