But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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