NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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