Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
