ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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