there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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