i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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