maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
