i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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