I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
