I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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