Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize