My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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