You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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