We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
