I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We are all done wearing pants today
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
